Choosing the right pronoun can be confusing because English has several forms that look similar but follow different grammatical patterns. “Theirself or Themself” is a common question, especially as singular “they” becomes more widely used in everyday communication.
Both forms appear in informal writing and speech, but “themself” is generally the more established choice when referring to one person with singular “they.” For example, “Jordan reminded themself to finish the assignment” uses a reflexive pronoun to show that Jordan performed the action for their own benefit.
“Theirself” also appears in some regional dialects and informal speech, but it is less widely accepted in standard written English. The best choice can depend on the sentence, the intended meaning, and the style guide you are following.
Quick Answer ⚡
“Themself” is the grammatically accepted and increasingly standard reflexive pronoun used with singular “they” (e.g., “Everyone should be proud of themself”). “Theirself” is nonstandard and is generally considered incorrect in formal English, though you may hear it in casual or dialectal speech.
Now let’s break down exactly why, and when to use which. 📚
Why This Confusion Happens 🤷♀️
English has a small pronoun problem: there’s no single, universally agreed-upon reflexive pronoun for singular “they.”
Think about the reflexive pronouns you already know:
- I → myself
- You → yourself
- He → himself
- She → herself
- We → ourselves
- They (plural) → themselves
But what about “they” used for one person like when you don’t know someone’s gender or they use “they/them” pronouns? That’s where things get messy, and two competing forms have popped up: “themself” and “theirself.”
Meaning and Correct Usage of “Themself” ✅
What Is “Themself”?
“Themself” is the reflexive pronoun used with singular “they” meaning it refers back to one person whose gender is unspecified, unknown, or non-binary.
It follows the same logic as “himself” and “herself,” just applied to singular “they.”
Examples of “Themself” in a Sentence
- Each employee should give themself enough time to finish the report. 📋
- If anyone feels sick, they should isolate themself immediately.
- The new student introduced themself to the class.
- Someone left their umbrella here maybe they’ll come back for it themself.
- My friend, who uses they/them pronouns, treated themself to a nice dinner. 🍽️
Is “Themself” Actually a Real Word?
Yes! “Themself” now appears in major dictionaries, including Merriam-Webster, which recognizes it as the reflexive form of singular “they” especially useful for referring to a person of unspecified or non-binary gender.
Meaning and Correct Usage of “Theirself” ❌
What Is “Theirself”?
“Theirself” is a nonstandard word formed by combining “their” + “self.” While some people use it in casual or regional speech, it is not recognized as correct in standard written English and is generally avoided in formal writing.
Examples of “Theirself” (Nonstandard Usage)
- ❌ “He hurt theirself while playing basketball.” (Nonstandard should be “himself” if referring to a known male, or “themself” for singular “they.”)
- ❌ “She did it all by theirself.” (Nonstandard should be “herself.”)
- ❌ “Everybody should learn to take care of theirself.” (Nonstandard should be “themself” or “themselves.”)
You’ll sometimes hear “theirself” or its plural cousin “theirselves” in regional dialects or informal speech, particularly in some American Southern or working-class British dialects. But in standard grammar, academic writing, or professional communication, it’s best avoided. 🚫
Comparison Table: Theirself vs Themself
| Aspect | Theirself | Themself |
| Standard English? | ❌ No (nonstandard) | ✅ Yes (increasingly accepted) |
| Dictionary Recognition | Not in major dictionaries | Recognized in Merriam-Webster & others |
| Used With | N/A (incorrect formation) | Singular “they” |
| Formal Writing | Avoid | Acceptable, especially in gender-neutral contexts |
| Example Sentence | “She did it by theirself.” ❌ | “They did it by themself.” ✅ |
| Common In | Regional/dialectal speech | Modern inclusive & everyday writing |
Why “Themself” Makes More Grammatical Sense 🧠
Here’s a simple way to understand the logic:
- Singular pronoun + self = correct pattern
- my + self = myself
- your + self = yourself
- him + self = himself
- her + self = herself
- them + self = themself ✅ (following the same singular pattern)
- Theirself, on the other hand, incorrectly combines the possessive pronoun “their” with “self,” which breaks the pattern used by other reflexive pronouns (we don’t say “hisself” or “herself’s,” for example wait, actually “hisself” is also nonstandard for the same reason!).
Bonus Tip: “Hisself” and “Theirself” Are Grammar Cousins 👯
Interesting fact: “hisself” is also a nonstandard word some dialects use instead of “himself.” It follows the exact same (incorrect) pattern as “theirself” combining a possessive pronoun with “self” instead of the object pronoun. Both are considered nonstandard in formal English.
Memory Trick to Remember the Difference 🧠✨
Here’s an easy mnemonic:
“THEM comes before SELF, just like HIM and HER do!”
Or try this simple rule:
Object pronoun (him, her, them) + self = correct. Possessive pronoun (his, her, their) + self = usually incorrect.
Quick checklist:
- Himself ✅
- Herself ✅
- Themself ✅ (singular they)
- Theirself ❌
See the pattern? The correct reflexive pronouns are built from object pronouns, not possessive ones. That’s your golden rule! 🏆
Real-Life Examples: Where You’ll See These Words 📬
In Emails
“If a customer has an issue, please have them contact themself through our support portal.”
In Social Media Posts
“Just watched my friend introduce themself at the conference so proud! 👏 #theythem #pronouns”
In News Writing
“The witness said they saw the suspect hide themself behind the building.”
In Academic Writing
“Each participant was asked to rate themself on a scale of 1 to 10 regarding confidence levels.”
In Everyday Speech (Nonstandard Example)
“He said he’d fix it theirself.” (Common in casual/regional speech, but considered incorrect in formal writing.)
Notice how “themself” is increasingly common in workplaces, media, and inclusive language guides especially as more organizations adopt gender-neutral language in official communication. 🌈
British English vs American English 🇬🇧🇺🇸
Interestingly, this isn’t really a British vs American English issue it’s more about formal vs informal English, and traditional vs modern usage.
- Both British and American style guides increasingly accept “themself” when referring to singular “they,” especially in inclusive and gender-neutral writing.
- “Theirself” is considered nonstandard in both British and American English, though you might hear regional variations of it in casual speech in either country.
Trend alert 📈: As singular “they” becomes more widely accepted in professional and everyday communication (especially for referring to people who use they/them pronouns), “themself” is becoming more common in style guides, including some updates from major publishers and universities.
Common Mistakes People Make 🚩
- Using “theirself” instead of “themself”
- ❌ “They did it by theirself.”
- ✅ “They did it by themself.”
- Using “themselves” when referring to one person
- This isn’t necessarily wrong, but many style guides now prefer “themself” for a single person, reserving “themselves” for groups.
- Example: “Everyone should ask themself this question” (singular) vs. “The students asked themselves this question” (plural/group).
- Overcorrecting to “himself/herself” when gender is unknown or the person prefers “they/them”
- If someone’s gender isn’t specified or they use they/them pronouns, “themself” is the respectful and grammatically appropriate choice.
- Assuming “theirself” is just informal slang that’s “fine to use anywhere”
- It’s best to avoid it in resumes, essays, business writing, and other formal contexts.
Why This Grammar Topic Matters Right Now 🌟
Language is evolving, and understanding the difference between “themself” and “theirself” isn’t just about grammar tips it’s also about:
- Inclusive communication using correct gender-neutral pronouns respectfully
- Professional writing avoiding nonstandard words in resumes, emails, and reports
- SEO and content quality search engines and readers value correct spelling and modern, accurate English usage
- Cultural awareness many companies, schools, and media outlets now include singular “they” and “themself” in their official style guides
If you write content, work in HR, or communicate professionally, using themself correctly (and avoiding “theirself”) shows attention to detail and inclusivity. 💼
FAQs: People Also Ask 🙋
1. Is “themself” grammatically correct?
Yes, “themself” is increasingly recognized as grammatically correct when used as the reflexive form of singular “they,” and it appears in major dictionaries like Merriam-Webster.
2. Is “theirself” a real word?
No, “theirself” is considered nonstandard and doesn’t appear in standard dictionaries as a recognized reflexive pronoun. It’s mostly heard in casual or regional dialects.
3. When should I use “themself” instead of “themselves”?
Use “themself” when referring to one person (especially with singular “they”), and “themselves” when referring to multiple people or a group.
4. Why don’t we say “hisself” or “herself’s” the same way as “theirself”?
Actually, “hisself” is also nonstandard, for the same reason as “theirself” both incorrectly combine a possessive pronoun with “self” instead of using the correct object pronoun form.
5. Is “themself” used in British English or only American English?
Both British and American English increasingly accept “themself”, especially in modern, inclusive, and gender-neutral writing contexts.
6. Can I use “themself” in formal writing, like essays or resumes?
Yes, “themself” is appropriate in formal writing, especially when referring to a person of unspecified gender or someone who uses they/them pronouns.
7. Why is “theirself” used in some dialects if it’s incorrect?
Language naturally varies by region and community. “Theirself” survives in some dialects as a colloquial form, but it hasn’t been adopted into standard, formal English.
Final Thoughts:
In conclusion, themself and theirself are sometimes used when referring to one person without specifying gender, but they are not equally accepted in standard English. Themself is an accepted singular reflexive pronoun, often used with the singular pronoun “they.” Theirself is much less common and is generally considered nonstandard in formal writing. For example, “They should believe in themself” can refer to one person.
When writing essays, articles, or professional content, choose themself when a singular reflexive pronoun is needed. Understanding this difference helps you use gender-neutral language more confidently and keep your writing clear, natural, and grammatically appropriate.
Olivia Bennett is a passionate English grammar writer at GrammBoost.com who loves making grammar simple and easy to understand. She specializes in spelling, word differences, punctuation, and everyday English usage. Through clear explanations and practical examples, Olivia helps students, writers, and professionals write with greater confidence and accuracy.
